Monday, February 28, 2011

Dil, Dosti, etc - Part 2

Though it is not strictly a sequel, you can check this post for the first part

Ashish was sitting with his legs folded on the bed, his nose almost buried inside the laptop screen. On the opposite side of the table Viraj was equally engrossed in his computer screen and Yogesh as usual was sprawled on the ground. The tiny hostel room was like any other. Messy. Clothes were lying all over the place and there were just a few spots where one could see the floor tiles. There was a half empty bottle of Coca-cola on the table and uncountable potato chips packets lying with all three of them. Viraj finished his chips and threw his packet on the ground, which landed right on Yogesh's face without any effort.

"Watch it you asshole. After all this is done, you are going to clean up my room, you messy son-of-a-bitch." Yogesh yelled.

"As if I have created all this mess inside your room. You dirty it for the entire year, and when I just happen to drop a packet then you yell your head off. If you want it to be clean, then move your big fat ass and do it yourself." Viraj replied.

Suddenly there was a loud thwack on the keyboard and Ashish clapped his hands over his face. 

"Guys, I think I've done it here!!!!" he said.

"Done what?" asked Yogesh, as he grabbed the Coke bottle and took a deep swig.

"Done, what we are here to do, dumbo. I think I've got the code to work at last. Come here guys. Time to put my brilliance to test."

All three of them gathered intently around Ashish's laptop. He opened the Linux console on his screen and typed some commands to compile and run the program he had just written. Everybody waited with bated breath as the program executed itself step by step. 

"C'mon, c'mon, don't betray me now." Ashish prayed.

Suddenly there was a shriek. Yogesh jumped at the sudden sound and promptly knocked Ashish's laptop from the table. Ashish caught it in time to prevent it from falling on the ground and put it back on the table.

"What the fuck was that ???" Yogesh exclaimed.

"Ohh, that's my new ringtone." said Viraj. "Ain't it cool?"

"Cool, my foot. You are screwed dude.... " said Yogesh and jumped at Viraj who deftly avoided him and ran outside the room to pick up the call.

"This bastard is not coming back till morning now as he must be talking to his new jaan-e-mann." said Ashish. "Damn you. You disconnected the internet cable in your histrionics. Now i'll have to start this thing all over again. Lost some weight Fatso, or else one day you won't know the difference between a cushion and your rear end."

"Well, that has its advantages. I don't need a cushion to sit on wherever I go." Yogesh winked.

Ashish connected the cables and started the program once again.

"Yippeeeee.....its working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he danced with glee.

"Could you please lower your volume ?" Viraj yelled from outside. "I can't hear what she is saying."

"Screw you, I don't give a shit whether you can hear her or not. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Ashish yelled.

"You just finish your conversation Romeo, your phone is not seeing the light of the day in the morning." said Yogesh.

"Pheww, now that was some brain-draining programming for the night. Let's see what this idiot has done."

Ashish moved over to Viraj's laptop and looked over it.

"Yogesh, tell me one thing. That nutcase is talking to his Anita darling right?" he asked.

"I guess so. Why, what happened?"

"Just come over here and have a look."

Yogesh went over. Both of them read for  a while and burst out in splits. Meanwhile Viraj re-entered the room and looking at them pondering on his laptop he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You bloody mother-" ..... he swore and snatched his laptop from them.

"Who's Poonam now? Quite an intimate chat you were having there. What will Anu darling say now?"

"You guys have no right to be spying on me like that. I don't think I need to answer that question. By the way, did your code work? Considering your yells I guess it did."

"Oh yes, it did. And don't you dare try to change the topic. I know you haven't done a single bit of your part of the project, so you better buck up and finish it off." Ashish said.

"Why are you guys all the time after me? I want to know how much Yogesh has done." He moved over to Yogesh's laptop and manage to have a fleeting glimpse before Yogesh lifted it from the ground. 

"No need for you to know." Yogesh said. "I will complete my part easily by the morning."

"Really ?? And is Savita Bhaabi helping you complete it with her advice?" Viraj mocked as Ashish clutched his stomach and laughed.

"She may not be helping as such in the code, but I can concentrate better."

"My, my." Viraj exclaimed. "It seems nobody is a saint here. And what are you up to on your screen?" he asked Ashish.

"If I am not mistaken, I am the only person here who has finished his work. So don't you dare look at me with suspicion."

"If that's the case I wanna look at your screen." Viraj stood up.

Ashish showed him the console on the screen which still displayed the output of his program. 

"Now close the console."

"Why should I?"

"B'coz I say so."

"I don't feel obliged to listen to every word you say."

"If you are such a saint as you make out to be, just close or minimize the console."

"Fuck you!!!"

"You may" Viraj winked. "But I just happened to see a girl's picture a few moments back. Care to tell us a name?"


Saturday, February 26, 2011

World Cup Dhamaal

So here I am, back to the world of blogging after about a 2 month long hiatus. As you might expect from the title of this post, this is no fiction, just an observation and most probably one of my shorter posts.

The cricket world cup has started, and so has another mode of entertainment in India. No, I am not talking about the matches. This entertainment has everything to do with your knowledge of cricket but has nothing to do with actually playing the game. Some of you readers (are there any????) might have guessed this correctly. I am actually talking about the volley of cricket experts that suddenly emerge out of nowhere when such big occasions are round the corner. And currently the most popular way to show off your "knowledge" of the game is none other than our very own Facebook.

Everybody who is anybody is there on Facebook. But another observation of mine says that there are certain rules that would make You feel that you are the sole expert on the subject.

1) You must know the name of each and every player who's ever made it to the national squad. If you don't, then there's always dear 'ol Google to help you out before posting your expert advice.
2) All the knowledge and expertise is stored in your pot-bellies. That should explain why most of these experts are what they are.
3) It's not required that you have played this game at a national level (well, as a matter of fact, not even state or school level) to know which player to be taken into the team, which shot he should play, and how many runs he should score in a match.

Heyyyyy.....just 3 rules?????? In that case, every Indian worth his salt fits into the role. And that's exactly what I see. Mind you, I am not a cynic. I too am equally passionate about the game like any citizen of our country and want India to win. But some people do make me wonder, If Sachin Tendulkar happens to read even 0.001% of the advises he receives from the billion people all over the country, wouldn't it make his day??

Watch the matches, curse the players when they get out, dance when the team wins and then give your expert opinions on how the game has to be played. Dudeeeeesss....if you are so damn passionate about this game, open the door, go out of your house, take a bat and ball and feel the magic. For once, try playing the shot that you've always adviced Sachin or Viru to play. It would not only make you happier, but would also take some baggage of your bellies. Isn't cricket amazing??

Some people in my friend-list are passionate about the game to the point of craziness. One guy (I won't be revealing the names) has an obsessive compulsiveness that he has to put up a status advising the team composition, who holds the key to the match, how people have to play, etc, etc and then he has to "Like" it. "Like"ing your own post ? I may be wrong, but isn't that kinda dumb? I look at his photo and I really wonder if he has ever held a bat in his hand, let alone play the game. But hey, you just gotta look at Rule #3 to understand the sentiments.

Though I might have kinda mocked at the experts, I really find them highly entertaining, especially when the opinions are such that it really proves that you've never really entered the field. All in all, I also don't know what is the point of this post, but just felt like posting something.. ;). Just to end it, like any other fan of Indian cricket, I would like to wish our team the best of luck to bring the cup into our territory. GO INDIA GO!!!!!!!