Dil, Dosti, etc - Part 2

Though it is not strictly a sequel, you can check this post for the first part http://ashwinverleker.blogspot.com/2010/10/dil-dosti-etc.html.

Ashish was sitting with his legs folded on the bed, his nose almost buried inside the laptop screen. On the opposite side of the table Viraj was equally engrossed in his computer screen and Yogesh as usual was sprawled on the ground. The tiny hostel room was like any other. Messy. Clothes were lying all over the place and there were just a few spots where one could see the floor tiles. There was a half empty bottle of Coca-cola on the table and uncountable potato chips packets lying with all three of them. Viraj finished his chips and threw his packet on the ground, which landed right on Yogesh's face without any effort.

"Watch it you asshole. After all this is done, you are going to clean up my room, you messy son-of-a-bitch." Yogesh yelled.

"As if I have created all this mess inside your room. You dirty it for the entire year, and when I just happen to drop a packet then you yell your head off. If you want it to be clean, then move your big fat ass and do it yourself." Viraj replied.

Suddenly there was a loud thwack on the keyboard and Ashish clapped his hands over his face. 

"Guys, I think I've done it here!!!!" he said.

"Done what?" asked Yogesh, as he grabbed the Coke bottle and took a deep swig.

"Done, what we are here to do, dumbo. I think I've got the code to work at last. Come here guys. Time to put my brilliance to test."

All three of them gathered intently around Ashish's laptop. He opened the Linux console on his screen and typed some commands to compile and run the program he had just written. Everybody waited with bated breath as the program executed itself step by step. 

"C'mon, c'mon, don't betray me now." Ashish prayed.

Suddenly there was a shriek. Yogesh jumped at the sudden sound and promptly knocked Ashish's laptop from the table. Ashish caught it in time to prevent it from falling on the ground and put it back on the table.

"What the fuck was that ???" Yogesh exclaimed.

"Ohh, that's my new ringtone." said Viraj. "Ain't it cool?"

"Cool, my foot. You are screwed dude.... " said Yogesh and jumped at Viraj who deftly avoided him and ran outside the room to pick up the call.

"This bastard is not coming back till morning now as he must be talking to his new jaan-e-mann." said Ashish. "Damn you. You disconnected the internet cable in your histrionics. Now i'll have to start this thing all over again. Lost some weight Fatso, or else one day you won't know the difference between a cushion and your rear end."

"Well, that has its advantages. I don't need a cushion to sit on wherever I go." Yogesh winked.

Ashish connected the cables and started the program once again.

"Yippeeeee.....its working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he danced with glee.

"Could you please lower your volume ?" Viraj yelled from outside. "I can't hear what she is saying."

"Screw you, I don't give a shit whether you can hear her or not. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Ashish yelled.

"You just finish your conversation Romeo, your phone is not seeing the light of the day in the morning." said Yogesh.

"Pheww, now that was some brain-draining programming for the night. Let's see what this idiot has done."

Ashish moved over to Viraj's laptop and looked over it.

"Yogesh, tell me one thing. That nutcase is talking to his Anita darling right?" he asked.

"I guess so. Why, what happened?"

"Just come over here and have a look."

Yogesh went over. Both of them read for  a while and burst out in splits. Meanwhile Viraj re-entered the room and looking at them pondering on his laptop he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You bloody mother-" ..... he swore and snatched his laptop from them.

"Who's Poonam now? Quite an intimate chat you were having there. What will Anu darling say now?"

"You guys have no right to be spying on me like that. I don't think I need to answer that question. By the way, did your code work? Considering your yells I guess it did."

"Oh yes, it did. And don't you dare try to change the topic. I know you haven't done a single bit of your part of the project, so you better buck up and finish it off." Ashish said.

"Why are you guys all the time after me? I want to know how much Yogesh has done." He moved over to Yogesh's laptop and manage to have a fleeting glimpse before Yogesh lifted it from the ground. 

"No need for you to know." Yogesh said. "I will complete my part easily by the morning."

"Really ?? And is Savita Bhaabi helping you complete it with her advice?" Viraj mocked as Ashish clutched his stomach and laughed.

"She may not be helping as such in the code, but I can concentrate better."

"My, my." Viraj exclaimed. "It seems nobody is a saint here. And what are you up to on your screen?" he asked Ashish.

"If I am not mistaken, I am the only person here who has finished his work. So don't you dare look at me with suspicion."

"If that's the case I wanna look at your screen." Viraj stood up.

Ashish showed him the console on the screen which still displayed the output of his program. 

"Now close the console."

"Why should I?"

"B'coz I say so."

"I don't feel obliged to listen to every word you say."

"If you are such a saint as you make out to be, just close or minimize the console."

"Fuck you!!!"

"You may" Viraj winked. "But I just happened to see a girl's picture a few moments back. Care to tell us a name?"

"Poonam................."

World Cup Dhamaal

So here I am, back to the world of blogging after about a 2 month long hiatus. As you might expect from the title of this post, this is no fiction, just an observation and most probably one of my shorter posts.

The cricket world cup has started, and so has another mode of entertainment in India. No, I am not talking about the matches. This entertainment has everything to do with your knowledge of cricket but has nothing to do with actually playing the game. Some of you readers (are there any????) might have guessed this correctly. I am actually talking about the volley of cricket experts that suddenly emerge out of nowhere when such big occasions are round the corner. And currently the most popular way to show off your "knowledge" of the game is none other than our very own Facebook.

Everybody who is anybody is there on Facebook. But another observation of mine says that there are certain rules that would make You feel that you are the sole expert on the subject.

1) You must know the name of each and every player who's ever made it to the national squad. If you don't, then there's always dear 'ol Google to help you out before posting your expert advice.

2) All the knowledge and expertise is stored in your pot-bellies. That should explain why most of these experts are what they are.

3) It's not required that you have played this game at a national level (well, as a matter of fact, not even state or school level) to know which player to be taken into the team, which shot he should play, and how many runs he should score in a match.

Heyyyyy.....just 3 rules?????? In that case, every Indian worth his salt fits into the role. And that's exactly what I see. Mind you, I am not a cynic. I too am equally passionate about the game like any citizen of our country and want India to win. But some people do make me wonder, If Sachin Tendulkar happens to read even 0.001% of the advises he receives from the billion people all over the country, wouldn't it make his day??

Watch the matches, curse the players when they get out, dance when the team wins and then give your expert opinions on how the game has to be played. Dudeeeeesss....if you are so damn passionate about this game, open the door, go out of your house, take a bat and ball and feel the magic. For once, try playing the shot that you've always adviced Sachin or Viru to play. It would not only make you happier, but would also take some baggage of your bellies. Isn't cricket amazing??

Some people in my friend-list are passionate about the game to the point of craziness. One guy (I won't be revealing the names) has an obsessive compulsiveness that he has to put up a status advising the team composition, who holds the key to the match, how people have to play, etc, etc and then he has to "Like" it. "Like"ing your own post ? I may be wrong, but isn't that kinda dumb? I look at his photo and I really wonder if he has ever held a bat in his hand, let alone play the game. But hey, you just gotta look at Rule #3 to understand the sentiments.

Though I might have kinda mocked at the experts, I really find them highly entertaining, especially when the opinions are such that it really proves that you've never really entered the field. All in all, I also don't know what is the point of this post, but just felt like posting something.. ;). Just to end it, like any other fan of Indian cricket, I would like to wish our team the best of luck to bring the cup into our territory. GO INDIA GO!!!!!!!

The Conversation

Hi everybody, long time since I paid some attention to my first blog. Now that I am done with the love story blog (for those who want to read it, click here) I felt it's high time to resume what I like best, short fiction. So what's in store this time? It is a short script, fully conversation based (like those drama scripts) and I have just two characters here viz Ankit and Dr. Sunil. Dr. Sunil is a psychiatrist cum counsellor. Ankit is a 18 year old boy having his own personal problems and has been made to visit Dr. Sunil by his mother to help him cope up with them. The whole script is a session between the two in the doctor's office.

The original concept is by my brother Akshay and the story has been written by me. Hope you enjoy the proceedings, and hope I did justice to your idea bro.

******************************************

Dr. Sunil: So finally you are here, sitting right infront of me in my office. I hope you are comfortable.

Ankit: Yeah, big deal. Look, I'll make one thing straight. I have least interest in sitting here and talking any shit. I am here because my mother didn't leave me another option. So whatever it is, let us get done with it fast.

Dr. Sunil: Most of my patients feel that way during their first visit. It's quite natural. First of all, do you know why you are here?

Ankit: I don't give a damn what anybody has told you or what anybody thinks about me. It is my life and I am going to live it the way I want to. Nobody, including you can change that.

Dr. Sunil: Nobody wants to take your right to live the way you want. It is just that there have been certain incidents that have made your mother worry about you, and I would be helping you sort out your problems. Plain and simple.

Ankit: My problems eh? What the fuck do you know about any of my problems?

Dr. Sunil: No, I don't know anything. That's why I want you to tell me. Let us start with the year 2004, 6 years back when your parents got divorced. How did you, as a 12 year old accommodate such a situation?

Ankit: You had to bring that up, didn't you? Everybody does. Everybody just expects that a child would keep mum when his parents are just short of strangling each other, that I would be fast asleep in my room while they yelled and cursed each other the whole night. That I could be calm and composed while they just fought over me in front of everybody in that courtroom. I am just a piece of chocolate right, come just fight over me to see who gets it.

Dr. Sunil: Your history says that about five months after the bitter divorce, you were apparently arrested with possession of cocaine.

Ankit: Why apparently? Yes, I had the dope with me. So did a couple of my friends. But they were let off. Why? Because of their rich dads. And me, I wasn’t even left with a person whom I could call my father. You don’t know what it is like to have a father yet not meet him.

Dr. Sunil: No I don’t. But I do know what it is not to see your father at all. Mine died before I was even born. But we can leave that part aside for now. What I am more interested in is what made you go after drugs?

Ankit: Nothing made me. I started it by choice. What else was I supposed to do? The dope was the only thing which kept me sane during that phase.

Dr. Sunil: So do you regret that? The dope I mean.

Ankit: Regret? Hell no, but I do regret calling those bastards my friends, real cowards without any balls.

Dr. Sunil: Nobody can help you when there is no regret inside you for what you have done. But after that short stint in juvenile prison, your record has been clean and that is something to be happy about. But it seems recently your behaviour has changed a lot. Your mother says that you have been very withdrawn and secretive about your whereabouts and what you do. What do you have to say on that?

Ankit: Oh man. That lady doesn’t stop. What the hell is wrong in wanting a bit of privacy? She wants to know everything damn thing. Can’t I have a bit of life of my own?

Dr. Sunil: There is nothing wrong in wanting some privacy. The thing that worries her is you being out for entire nights without her knowing where you have been. As a parent, I can tell you, that can get very worrying. You have the right to go wherever you want, now that you are an adult. But it is still your duty to let your mother know.

Ankit: She would just freak out as usual and come up with some lame excuse just to make me stay. You ever had any problems at home doctor?

Dr. Sunil: (Slightly taken aback at the sudden shift) In fact I do. Why do you ask?

Ankit: So how do you go about solving it? Visit another psychiatrist?

Dr. Sunil: If you think that any psychiatrist can help mend a troubled marital relationship, then please do recommend, I won’t mind seeing him. But this isn’t supposed to be about my problems.

Ankit: See? You are yourself running away from your problems and all the while trying to solve mine. How can I trust your judgement in that case?

Dr. Sunil: Alright. So what do you suggest?

Ankit: I suggest that let this be a two way communication. You come out with your problems first, and then I tell you mine.

Dr. Sunil: Seems fair enough. Only thing is that you are too young to understand this issue.

Ankit: Try me. I may be more help than you think.

Dr. Sunil: Well, I have been married for about seven years now, have a beautiful three year-old daughter from that marriage. Life was perfect till about a year ago. My professional commitments gave me less time to spend with my family. Things had begun changing.

Ankit: So how did your wife react to this situation?

Dr. Sunil: Initially she kept quiet. Then slowly her frustration began turning into anger and yeah, we had some serious fights. But then, the fights just turned into total silence. Now we stay under the same roof, but are like total strangers. There is hardly any conversation, so much that even a passing greeting has become a rarity. I may have been a heck of a good doctor, but when it comes to domestic matters, I suck. You see, once you are settled professionally, the money and the fame ceases to matter. I want my life back as it was. That’s my side of the deal. Now it’s your turn.

Ankit: That’s quite a story doc. So now you want to know about my side? It’s way much simpler than yours. All those nights that I am out, I have been seeing somebody. That’s not a crime, is it?

Dr. Sunil: That depends on who that somebody is. I guess this somebody is a female.

Ankit: Yes, it is a female. And I love her, I can do anything for her. You know, all these years I thought God had cursed my life, showered me with all the pain and suffering that he could come up with. But then, when I met her, I realised that it wasn’t the presence of pain that made me suffer, it was the absence of love.

Dr. Sunil: Are we talking of real love or just casual sex?

Ankit: We are talking of both actually. It is real love from my side, but I am not too sure about hers. Sometimes I have a feeling she is doing it only for the sex. But you know what? I don’t care. With her, I can be myself. She makes me feel complete.

Dr. Sunil: If you love her so much, why have you kept your mother in the dark about it?

Ankit: She would never understand. She would just try to keep me as far as possible from her. And I cannot risk that. For once in my life, I have found someone who would love me for what I am.

Dr. Sunil: Ankit, your mother loves you very much. Every mother does. Why do you feel she won’t understand? It’s perfectly natural for a boy of your age to fall in love.

Ankit: I don’t think it’s normal for a 18 year old to fall for a married woman.

(Pause)

Dr. Sunil: Now that’s something we’ve got there.

Ankit: See? You don’t understand it too.

Dr. Sunil: I understand what it is to fall in love. I too had fallen in love with the lady I married the first time I saw her. But in my case, she was perfectly single. So is there a reason why she spends so much time with you in spite of having a husband?

Ankit: I don’t know, and neither do I ask her. Why bring unnecessary controversies when you are actually feeling good?

Dr. Sunil: That is not what you can call unnecessary controversy. It might be okay for you to spend time with her, but it is a serious issue that someone who’s married is spending her nights with an 18 year-old.

Ankit: They say love can make you do crazy stuff. Maybe this is just one of them.

Dr. Sunil: Yes, love does make one go crazy. But what’s going on, it is not love, I can assure you that. To me it seems that just the way you want to be loved and cared for, she also might be having a need for some male attention. Human beings want that.

Ankit: Yeah right. So now you want me to stop seeing her. Why the fuck can’t anybody stand seeing me happy.

Dr. Sunil: I am not at all implying that. I want you to talk to her. Find out what her problems are. Considering the amount of time you have spent with her, she might even tell you.

Ankit: That would be the end of our relationship doc.

Dr. Sunil: You know what, if there is any real love between you two, it won’t be. But if all this was just satisfying one’s physical needs, it’d better stop. The sooner you know, the better.

Ankit: (Choking) I really am confused. I do want her in my life. And I also know that the society in general would not allow it. But I will talk to her as you said. Maybe it’s time for things to be made clear.

Dr. Sunil: It’s never too late to try. I have realised it myself. The people closest to us are the ones we tend to take for granted. In my case, it has been my wife and in your case it has been your mother.

Ankit: I guess so. But could you do me a favour please? Don’t let my mother know of this affair. If I am to continue this relationship, I would tell her myself. But if not, then she’d better be in the dark. You docs keep these sessions confidential right?

Dr. Sunil: Yes, we do. Whatever you’ve told me is only between you and me. So you don’t need to worry about that. And I also would like to request a favour from you.

Ankit: And that would be?

Dr. Sunil: Could you please tell Anita that her husband still loves her and wants her back in his life badly?

Dil, Dosti, etc

She was standing less than a foot away from him, yet seemed so distant. A couple of tears rolled down her cheek and fell on the ground only to be quickly absorbed by the dry soil. Viraj's throat was choked and his anguish would not come out in words. He looked at Meghana for a last time, his gaze trying to pierce through her.

"So, this is it eh?" he said, the sadness very much apparent in his voice.

"Viraj, please try to understand. Though I very much wish to spend the rest of my life with you, it's not possible. Not with my father around. If I tell him about you, then either he'll kill me or get me married to somebody the very next day."

"So let us run away together. Away from this town, away from your father. Me being a lower caste than you won't matter then."

"Don't be impulsive. You are not even a graduate yet. How would we survive? No money, no family. We would be doomed."

"If I have you with me, then I can face anything in this world. Your love is my strength. Please don't this to me."

"I am sorry Viraj. But maybe it's for the best that this would be the last time we will meet. Good luck in your life."

..................................................................................................

It was dark, way too much dark for a late February night. And it was compounded by a powercut in the campus. Three boys were walking along the dark lanes of the college. They walked in silence till they came to an open field which was used for playing cricket, football and sometimes even as athletic track. Yogesh was the first to sit on the grass wet with the evening dew. Ashish and Viraj followed the suit and the three of them just sat there quietly until Ashish broke the silence.

"So, are you going to talk about it or not?"

"There isn't anything much to talk about. My mind is made up." Viraj replied.

"And is your plan so secret that you can't tell your closest friends about it?" asked Yogesh.

"The bottomline is, I can't live without her man. Not after what we have been through together. Those evenings in the park, the days we spent all by ourselves in her house............."

".....and that special moment when you lost your virginity. Get over it dude!!" Ashish completed the sentence for him.

Viraj was livid.

"Don't you dare make fun out of it. I didn't have sex with her, though there was ample opportunity for it. Even in this modern generation, I am very orthodox when it comes to pre-marital affairs. So if you want to make mockery out of my feelings, then go and boil you head."

"You may not have used the opportunities, or maybe you didn't have the guts. But in the end, you got fucked and that's where your virginity left you. Cut the crap man."

Viraj was just staring at the ground. There were a few moments of silence before Yogesh spoke up.

"So what exactly do you intend to do now?"

"I have decided. I am going to confront her father." Viraj said with a determined voice.

"And what exactly do you intend to say to him?" Ashish asked.

"Exactly the things that I feel about his daughter. I'll tell him about us. I'll tell him to wait till I get a job. I'll just convince him somehow."

"Dude" Yogesh interrupted. "You don't have the balls to confront a teacher when they cut your marks unfairly. And you think you can confront her Dad. Wake up brother!"

"You guys will never understand what it feels to lose someone with whom you have spent the most intimate moments of your life. I'll die without her. I want her with me. I want her hair brushing my face, that feeling of her lips on mine...."

"Will you just stop with those silly romantic dialogues? If at all, then give that crap to some pervert. It might help him get hardened. But right now, get your feet back on to the ground. First of all, you are NOT going to meet her dad. Period." Ashish said.

"What would you know about commitment? Whether you accept it or not, you have been after THAT girl since ages, but you never told her. Why? Because you are afraid. Afraid of losing her as a friend. But I have gone way beyond friendship, just too far to come back."

Ashish became all quiet. Apparently, Viraj had hit the nail at a sensitive point.

"Don't get too personal Viraj. We are just trying to make you see sense." said Yogesh. "I agree with Ashish. If at all, it had to be Meghana who had to confront her dad, not you.If she cannot muster up the courage to talk to him, maybe she doesn't love you that much. Think about it."

"Open your eyes man. Just as a point to show our view, how long did it take her to break up from Rajesh and get into a relationship with you? Two days. Just bloody two days to leave a boyfriend of two years."

Was it just two days? Viraj thought. He realised he had been too much in love to even count the days. Hell, yeah. It were those two days of phone conversation that had changed the course of his life. How come he never noticed that?

"And just think. If it took her just three months to get so physically close to you, not that you are innocent however much you claim to be orthodox, she had been in a relationship with Rajesh for two years." Yogesh pointed out.

This was also true. O God! Where was this going? Was he really in love or was it just his physical needs that he thought was love?

"That BITCH!" Viraj exclaimed. "She bloody used me. To think of it, she was the one who called me to her house that evening. What the hell was I thinking. O yeah, I'll take care of that slut."

"Hold on brother. That ain't fair." Ashish said. "You can blame her just like that. If you think she used you, well you also did use her to satisfy your hunger. If she was the one who called you, you were the dog who went after the bone with your tongue out and drool flowing. So if you are calling her a slut, what does that make you?"

There was a long pause. None of them said anything. It was quite apparent that now Viraj was beginning to see some sense, though his reaction was a bit extreme.

"Well, should I answer that question?" Yogesh poked.

"No need. " Viraj replied curtly.

"I think I should. What say Ashish?" 

"I think I know what you would say. But I don't think lover-boy would like it."

"Don't you dare say anything Yogesh...." 

"Haha. Andddd, the answer issssssssss.............."

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TWO WEEKS LATER

There was a soft knock on Ashish's door. Viraj slowly entered the room. 

"Hey, you busy?" Viraj asked.

"Not so busy. So, what is it?" Ashish replied.

"Well, there is something I want to talk to you about. You know, there is this girl Anita I met sometime back. I think something's clicking."

"DUDE. IT'S BEEN HARDLY TWO WEEKS SINCE YOU BROKE UP!!!!!!!"

"I know. But now I feel that was lust. I think I am in love this time...................................."

For A Better Future

I have noticed that I always get ideas for my blogs whenever I am travelling alone. This time, it isn't an idea as such. Rather, its a series of thoughts which were started when I was travelling from Delhi to Gurgaon in the metro. A family was seated just next to where I was standing. A man - fully suited up and busy with his laptop, a lady (apparently his wife) clad traditionally in a saree with her head covered and their child who seemed to be less than a year old. Small kids have always interested me ever since I can remember. He was sitting on his mother's lap and staring at me intently. I had my earphones on with music playing full blast on my cell phone. When I noticed that this kid is "checking" me out, I made some strange silly faces at him, and that brought that typical childish smile on his face. The smile encouraged me to make even more stupider faces and soon enough quite a number of people standing in the train were getting entertained with my stupidity. Suddenly, the kid became a bit adventurous and pulled my earphones out which brought my cell crashing down from my shirt pocket. In an instant he got a slap from his mother who apologised to me. I was just thankful that my poor cell was safe and sound.

What's so great about this event, you might think. I look at it in this way. It showed me three different personalities. 

#1.  A working man, burdened with work pressures so much that he has to work even while travelling.

#2. A housewife, who has to follow her husband everywhere and also take full responsibility for her child.

#3. A child, who has no idea about the world and behaviour expected of him by the society. For him, the world is an adventure, full of interesting things and wierd people.

As kids ourselves, how many of us were as dull as we are now? When we are young without "knowledge", even a trivial thing like a shoelace seems so damn interesting. The world is out there waiting for us to explore it. Everybody has dreams about what they would become when they grow old. As far as I am concerned, when I was a tiny tot, the profession that fascinated me the most was that of a bus driver. Sitting with my mother in a bus, I could stare with interest for hours as the driver turned that huge round ring (which I learnt later is called "steering wheel") and push back and forth a long lever (gear). Man, driving a bus would be so much fun!!!!!! Later though my brother, who is 3 years older to me somehow managed to convince me that being a conductor would be a better option since apparently he was the one who got all the money. Engineering was not present even in my wildest dreams.

But then as I grew up and learnt that society does not give much respect to a bus driver or a conductor, I had to look at other professions. The prime was obviously that of a doctor, both my parents being the same. I would spend hours "cutting" up (or rather sawing up as it would look like) my brother in surgery during our playtime each of us taking turns at being the patient and the doctor. But then, doctors always had to rush at odd times, even at midnight whenever there was a patient to be taken care of. Also they hardly had holidays. Who the hell wanted so much respect without any holidays? So being a doctor was struck off from my career options and somehow I luckily ended up as an engineer.

So what exactly is the point I am trying to make here?

Basically its not we, who want to be what we are. Its the society, which makes us what we are. And by society it includes our parents, family, teachers, friends and all those people who have the power to influence our way of thinking. If people like these hadn't influenced me when I was small, who knows, maybe today I would have been driving a rickety Kadamba bus between Mapusa and Panaji or maybe shouting "Punje direct direct" in the same. Not that I have any regrets at not being able to do so.

Most of us are not doing what we wish to do, rather we prefer to follow the rules that the society sets for us and be what others want us to be. The man in the train must have been working very hard to take care of his family. But was he really happy? Maybe he was. But there were more chances that he wasn't. Throughout the incident, not once did he raise his head from the laptop screen. And in the process, he must be missing seeing his son's childhood. The lady was expected to take care of her child and be responsible for his actions. If the child does not behave himself, its his mother's fault. And by good behaviour, we mean stay still and totally quiet. Do not disturb other people. Never talk to strangers. Staring is bad manners. All of us are taught these social ettiquettes at a very early age, so that we grow up into well-behaved children. While I do agree that some mannerisms are definitely required to be inculcated very  early in our life, forcing this behaviour can sometimes be harmful to ones ability to think differently.

If you don't agree, just think for once. When was the last time you were so much engrossed in something which was trivial for others? When was the last time that you had an idea which you felt could change the world or make it a better place? Or to quote a popular saying, When was the last time you did something for the first time? When was the last time that your idol was a superhero or a cartoon character and not a business tycoon?

As we grow up, we begin to supress our childhood dreams for fear of disapproval from those around us. Even if you are very happy, you would never dance on the road because you feel that people will ridicule you. When you are frustrated, you don't yell your head off because you think people would think you are crazy. Slowly we gather so many inhibitions, that our whole outlook of life changes. Now we also expect the same from others what was earlier expected of us, and the whole cycle continues.

I thought that day, why can't I no longer be like that child, innocent and so damn curious. Why didn't I find the world as interesting as it was when I was a toddler? Just in a few years, I had changed so much.

What I want to tell all you readers is, it is only one life that we get. Live it the way YOU want to. All of us have a right to be happy. If you truly love doing something, go for it irrespective of how old you are, where you are. Jump, whenever you feel like jumping, sing at the top of your voice. Who cares what your neighbor thinks? It's you who is happy, not him. As my photography teacher told our class once, "Whenever you go out and witness a scene that you want to capture, go ahead and capture it the way you want to. It's only you who can see it the way you are seeing it. Even if it means you have to lie down on the road or stand in wierd positions, do it without getting conscious as to what your onlookers think. You may never get the scene back ever again."

Whenever you are worried about the future, remember this. Whats the use of having a better future, when you can't enjoy the present? The future is something all of us want to make better, and when that future becomes present, we start worrying about it's future. So just stop worrying for sometime and live the moment. You may never get it back.

So here cums the end to a post which is totally unlike my usual ones. Sometimes I just can't prevent myself from typing out my thoughts as they are flowing in my mind. To end it, I would like to say,

"Yesterday was History, Tomorrow is Mystery. But Today is a gift, that's why it is called Present." Enjoyy!!!

Friendship Through the Ages

For all the Harry Potter fans out there, I hereby claim that the title of this post is a rip-off from "Quidditch through the Ages", but hell, it does fit perfectly to what I'm planning to write about here. Yes, something called friendship, which all of us have felt, experienced and in most cases, reciprocated. The inspiration for this post came quite a long time back when I was in Goa and roaming in the Mapusa market shopping with my mother (or rather, as she likes to put it, I was a coolie carrying all the stuff bought.. :P). I noticed a guy there whose face felt familiar but I just couldn't place him. I troubled my brain all through that day trying to figure out who the hell he was. Definitely not one of my school friends. I was sure because I distinctly remember all the faces and names which have studied with me right from my kindergarten. Then who was it?????
Forget it! I told myself. Since I couldn't place him, it wouldn't be a person who was important to me. So leaving all the unnecessary thought process aside, I switched on the internet and did what most of my generation is hooked on to.......FACEBOOK. And that was the point that it hit me. That guy was one of my Facebook friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Long ago, not very long, but long enough for me, there was a time when friend was a person with whom you can play in the evening, talk any damn thing and even have a great partnership in mischiefs. That was what a friend was for me, a partner in crime.
Then we grew up a few years. A friend became a person with whom you felt most comfortable working. He would not hesitate to help you in your studies, would lend you his stuff without a second thought and half of the things that you owned would be implicitly his.
Another few years. Now we were in our adolescence. So a friend became a person with whom you could taunt and tease others incessantly. With the new rush of hormones, he would be the person you could nudge in the ribs whenever you saw an attractive female. Girls could no longer be "just friends".
Another few years and we were in college where friendship took a whole new meaning. Now we wanted a pal who was not just a partner in crime or one who would share your stuff. We needed a confidante. A person you can truly confide in. Somebody with whom you could discuss your deepest secrets knowing that this stuff was totally safe with him. Whether this friend was a male or a female didn't matter. You just needed a person who could say "Don't worry, I'll be there for you" when for you all the world seemed lost. Someone who would put his hands around your shoulders and say "Screw what the world thinks. We are the best". Someone who could kick your butt when you were unnecessarily depressed about trivial things. At this stage of life, a friend was not just another person. He was a part of your life, somebody without whom you could not imagine yourself.
And in this process of growing up and making friends, somewhere unknowingly there rose a category of friends called "Online friends". With the boom in the internet and the development of virtual chat rooms, one could sit at home and "chat" with others at any time of the day. No longer did you have to "waste" time in going out and meeting up with others. You could do the same sitting on your comfortable chairs and staring at the computer screens. When this trend started picking up, we had a new phenomenon called Orkut enter the market which totally changed the concept of social networking. Suddenly your popularity was determined not by the number of people who knew you, but by the number of people added as friends on your orkut profile and the number of scraps written on your scrapbook. Forget all those slam books we kept for friends to scribble in, save paper - save trees, go online and write on the scrapbook instead. Friends would get pissed if you visited their profile and didn't leave a scrap.
And just when the deadly combo of Google and Orkut seemed to rule the market entered a new sensation with a strange name...Facebook. Now this seemed an interesting prospect. You make friends, "poke" them (whatever that meant), play games....hell....you could even have a virtual farm of your own and ask others for cows n sheep n trees and god alone knows what. Now a new category of friends had developed, called "Facebook friends". No longer did you have to actually know a person to be his/her friend. You could check out each other's "Like's" , the number of friends that person had and then decide whether the person was interesting enough for you to add him/her as your Facebook friend (Did I forget to mention the Profile Picture? :P). Guys could now stare at girls (or rather their photos) without feeling awkward and without the fear of getting a tight slap back in return. The impact of Facebook actually hit me when I learnt about the Facebook Party which happened recently in Goa which was organised by a bunch of Facebook addicts (which most people are.....including me) with the aim that at least for once people should actually meet their virtual friends.
Science tells us that evolution requires thousands or maybe millions of years to occur. What I have blabbered above is just the course of the past 21 years that I have lived. If this isn't some kind of evolution, then what is?
Whether it is a positive shift of lifestyle or negative, it is for an individual to decide for himself. One cannot take away the credit from social networking websites that they have really helped people to get in touch with their friends and family who are separated by long distances. But personally speaking this concept of virtual friends seems a bit disturbing to me. I mean, the friend you see on facebook, may not be the same person they seem to be online. When you actually play with someone it adds some exercise to your body, but playing online....it just adds some extra weight in your butt i guess :P. In my opinion, if you have a healthy balance of real friends and virtual friends it should not matter, but becoming all upset just because a pretty facebook friend of yours posted the "She is angry and sad" seems real lame. Trust me, I have seen such cases. Seriously, what's the big point of posting Hi, Hello messages on the walls of people who are actually sitting right next to you? Actually saying it should take less effort, isn't it?
Now it may seem that I'm anti-facebook. But I'm not. In my free time you would definitely find me online there and updating stuff regularly, if not daily. I also like to keep in touch with my friends and frankly, facebook has been the easiest and cheapest (its free isn't it..)method to do so. It has also helped me tremendously to pursue my interest in photography by looking at the pictures clicked by the professional photographers, and also receiving their reviews on the ones I clicked. The only point I want to make is that I would anytime have one friend whom I can meet, talk and trust completely rather than a thousand facebook friends to "chat" or comment on stuff.
So here comes the end to another of my "politically incorrect" posts. In facebook terminology, you can either "Like" it or "Report Abuse". Right now I'm out of my usual fictional ideas, hopefully I should get one soon and post it here......till then....Adios!!!!!

The Day We Met

One of my shorter posts..........just a random little story that came into my mind....

It was a beautiful day, bright sunshine and a continuous cool breeze blowing. Even work pressures could not dampen my spirit. I waited too long for this day. I had received the big news a couple of days earlier, but I decided to delay breaking it for this particular day. It was the day I had first met her. She didn't know that however. There were many things she didn't know about me all this while. But all that was going to end. This career promotion had given the platform I had looked for all through my life and this was just one of the things I would be confessing to her. It was high time she knew the truth about me. That I no longer wanted to be her friend.
I wanted more, much more than being just a friend and I wanted it real bad. All this while I had decided to delay this confession until I was stable professionally, and being promoted the branch manager had done that to me now. Now I was ready to give myself to a relationship, to be myself with her and not a person who pretends to be happy being her friend. Today I was going to blurt it all out. If she says yes, then it would be the icing on the cake. But if she didn't, I didn't know how I would deal with the blow. Maybe its better I know her side of the story soon, whether my wait of 3 years was worth it or not.
As I drew my motorbike in the unrelenting traffic of the city, I remembered the day three years back when I first met Anju. It was a mutual friend's birthday party at a lounge, and everybody was acting cordial until the booze began flowing. With the spirits running too high, one man misbehaved with her and that resulted in a quarrel followed by a fist fight. Not being much of a fighter, I was instructed to take her out of there while the others tried to make peace. In the chaos I forgot that the keys to my bike were with another guy who was fully into the commotion. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We walked the whole distance to her house, and in that 1 hour itself I had begun to feel the butterflies in my stomach. We talked all the way, getting to know each other and ended up exchanging phone numbers. What followed was a roller-coaster ride which was interrupted by our careers. But all that was not an issue anymore. Both of us had achieved what we wanted and I was now ready to take the plunge. I just had to find out whether she was ready to do the same.
There was a crowd gathered infront on the road and the traffic was blocked. Must be another of those accidents and fights. It was a daily routine in this city. Some one gets banged up and people gathered around just staring at the proceedings without even helping. I turned the bike and decided to take another route to the cafe where we were supposed to meet. Luckily for me I had enough time to buy a bouquet of red roses for her and there was a florist on that very road. It would be fitting for the occasion I felt.
I reached the cafe just in time. She hated late comers. But she wasn't there when I reached there. Most probable she was taking revenge for the last time when we took out time from our schedules to meet up and I was an hour late. No problem, it just gave me some extra time to rehearse the words I was going to use. Just to find out, I dialled her number on my cell phone. After what seemed an eternity, there was an answer. But it was a male voice that said the hello.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Whom were you trying to call?" the man on the other end asked me back.
"I think its a wrong connection, sorry." I said.
"I don't think so. Can you please tell us the name of the owner of this phone?"
"Who the hell are you?" I was beginning to get irritated.
"I am the Deputy Commissioner of Police and we found this phone in the purse of the lady who was hit by a drunken car driver. There weren't any identification papers with her, so it would be a great favor if you could help us."
The next moment, my cell phone was lying shattered on the ground.......................