Radha's Child

Disclaimer: 

All characters, incidents and places mentioned in this write-up is fictional and any similarity with any person or incident is purely co-incidental.

The fire was crackling, it was the only sound other than the priest's chants. The smoke rose from the pyre in puffs and stood in stark contrast with the orange evening sky. A handful of villagers were present at the funeral, but there were no tears being shed. Nobody really cared. Only Shankar's close neighbors were present at his funeral.

Radha sat quietly on the ground as the pyre slowly turned into ashes. She was holding her 5-month old daughter in her arms, the child fast asleep in her mother's grasp. The people around looked at her as if she were a piece of trash even as she silently watched her father being cremated. After all, who would respect a village girl who gave birth to a child, that too a girl at the age of 16 without getting married, and which self-respecting man would marry such a girl. It was rumored that the father of the child was the 20 year old Kishan who was friendly with her.

Keshav, Shankar's brother and Radha's uncle had performed the final rites of his brother. He was the only blood relative Radha had left in the world. He bent down in front of the listless figure of Radha sitting on the ground and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Shall we go dear?" he asked her affectionately.

She got up silently, carefully not to disturb the sleeping baby, pulled her sari over he head and followed her uncle with her small bundle of clothes, which was all she had left with her as her belongings. They walked the path to Keshav's house with Radha following him, her head bowed down, trying to hide her tears which were slowly trickling down her cheeks. As they reached their destination, she saw Kishan sitting on a bench at a distance across the street, a glass of tea in his hand. Uncle also noticed that she had noticed him.

"That moron is still here. I had fired him today morning itself." he snapped.

"Let him be, Uncle. He won't bother you." Radha said quietly.

"You don't need to come to his support for every damn thing. He is good for nothing, and we all know it. Now go inside and unpack your stuff. Your aunt will show you your place and your responsibilities in the household from today."

***

It was pitch dark outside. Slowly, trying to make as minimal noise as possible, Radha opened the door of the house and tip-toed outside. Kishan was waiting for her across the street.

"Are you crazy?" she asked him. "Do you understand what I face if I am caught with you here in the middle of the night?"

"You just refuse to meet me in daytime. What am I supposed to do?" he replied calmly.

"We are not children anymore, Kishan. The fun and games in life are over. It's better we don't meet again ever."

"I just don't get it why you can't come with me. Lets get out of this god-forsaken village. What's there for both of us here? Lets run away and get married. In that way I can give my name to the child too."

"You know that I want your name itself to be attached to the child's. But running away is not the solution. Chachaji is far worse than my father was where these things are concerned. He killed his own daughter to protect the family honor when she ran away. I am just his niece."

"I don't understand what makes you stay with him even though he scares the life out of you. My offer would be always open, whenever you change your mind."

"You won't understand it. You are not a girl, that too not a unmarried mother. You know what that means right?"

***

The night was dark, and one could hear the insects chirping outside. 15 year old Radha was lying on the ground trying very hard to sleep, but totally failing in the attempt. It was about 10 O'clock at night and her father had still not returned home. That could only mean he was getting drunk and that was the part she dreaded the most. She heard a sound at the door and lifted her head to see Shankar's silhouette in the doorway. He stumbled towards her and sat besides her.

"Aren't I happy to see my beautiful young daughter grow up so fast?" he mumbled, and put his hand on her arm. Instinctively she retracted her hand back and all muscles in her body contracted.

"You were such a little girl when your mother left us, and now look at you. You have become even more lovelier than she ever was."

The hand was sliding up her knee now, and all she could do was contract herself tightly. She knew what was coming and that she would never be able to fight him off. Her body was shivering.

"I love you, my baby, a lot!" he said bringing his face over hers. The smell of alcohol in his breath stung her senses and a wail came out of her mouth.

"Shh....don't you get worried now. It would be done fast and you will enjoy it too. Every woman has to go through it." Saying thus he put his mouth over her pursed lips as she stifled her cry.


Radha woke up suddenly, her body drenched in sweat and shivering. The memory of that fateful night had come back to haunt her again. In her sudden motion, she had woken up her child who has started crying loudly. She held her in her arms trying hard to console her but in vain.

"Will you please shut up that bastard child of yours? I am unable to sleep in all that wailing." Keshav yelled from the adjoining room.

"I am trying Chachaji." she replied. "She seems to be hungry, I'll try feeding her. And please don't call her that."

"Do whatever you need to do. And don't you dare speak to me like that. I will call her whatever I please. That piece of shit deserves no place in the world, let alone my house. I am doing a favor on you both by letting you stay here and I expect a bit of gratitude in return."

"The child is mine, and I will stand up for her, come what may. I am thankful for you letting us stay here, but I will not have anybody call my child that."

An angry Keshav stormed into the room and grabbed Radha by her hair.

"Say that again?" he threatened her. "You are a woman and you'd better know your status well. I hope you understand very well what I can do to you if you don't listen to me."

"Kill me? Sure, go ahead. I am living dead anyway."

"Kill? No, that would not be a punishment for insolence." His hand went to her throat. "Killing you would be too easy." The hand slid down to her chest. "There are things far worse and more enjoyable for a man to do with a whore like you."

In an instant, Radha's hand went to her waist pouch and the knife came out and was pierced in Keshav's chest.

"You will not harm me or my daughter, ever." she was wild. She drew back the knife and stabbed him again in the heart. The blood was splattering all over the place, but she did not stop stabbing until the body became motionless.

"There goes, my second murder, or would it be rescue?" she said over Keshav's listless body.

Radha quietly picked up her child and ran out of the house.

**********

Everything I do, I do it for You!!

The entire restaurant was full that day. All the tables were filled with the guests enjoying their Saturday evening, but not one sound came from any of them. Neither the usual chatter nor the clanging of the plates and spoons. Even the waiters were standing on the side with ready dishes in a tray, but not moving to serve them. The only sound emitted in the hall was that of David's and that of his piano. His fingers moving elegantly over the keys, his every motion producing a melody that totally enthralled each and every human being in the hall. No sooner than he finished his last track for the evening, the entire hall echoed with claps and cheers for a repeat performance.

Acknowledging the crowd, David bowed down before them and politely got off the dais. As he passed through the crowd, there were a flurry of compliments from the various guests, a few handshakes and some promises to give him a chance to perform at big concerts by some of the big-shots in the room. He accepted all of them with a smile. He knew that most of the people would not remember his name, let alone his face the next day. The manager greeted him with a smile and took him aside. 

"The boss wants you to play one more song tonight." he told David.

"If I am not mistaken, I get paid only to perform till 10 p.m.. Extra work would cost more than the meagre stipend you guys give me." David replied curtly. It was true. Those promises by the regular guests to give him the opportunities of a lifetime never took form, and he just about managed to live with his paltry earnings, what with the alimony he had to pay to his wife as a part of their divorce settlement.

"The boss knows it, David. He is offering you the same amount that you get for the 2 hour performance for just one extra song. Your earnings for today would be double the usual. He has left this note for you." saying this, the manager slipped a piece of paper in David's hand and went away. One song for twice the amount. Not bad, thought David.

At that very moment, David saw his boss enter the restaurant. Anil Mehta, young, smart and an aggressive businessman who had set up the restaurant chain and tasted success at a very early age entered his territory accompanied by a lady who looked to be in her late 20's. As they came closer, David could see both more clearly, and what he saw made his heart skip a beat. It had been 8 long years since he had last seen or met Shirley, and there she was, as beautiful as she had been then and even more graceful now. 

His mind wandered to the last time he had been alone with her at the lake. It was when he had told her that his family would be moving to Delhi from Kolkata. He was 23 then when his father made that decision. There was nothing left for them in Kolkata, their company had been bankrupt and all the property seized by the banks in lieu of mortgage. His maternal uncle had managed to find his father a job in Delhi, and so they were about to move in a week.

"I'll miss you terribly." he told her.

Shirley just looked down at the ripples her feet made on the surface of the water, silent, as if she was sitting all alone. A tear drop ran down her cheek and fell into the water.

"Don't give me this silent treatment. Please say something." he begged of her.

"Is there anything left to say?" she asked him back. "You won't stay back even if I want you to. You will go to Delhi, make some new friends and carry on with your life. I'll try and do the same with mine."

"Promise that you'll write to me. You have been my best friend all this time."

Shirley got up and started walking. David stood in her way.

"I'm sorry Shirley. But this isn't really in my hands now."

She looked up at him, her eyes red and filled with tears. Their gazes waited upon each other for several moments. At last she broke eye contact and gave him a quick hug before running away.

David was woken from his reverie when a waiter nudged him and pointed towards the table where Anil was sitting with Shirley. Anil winked at him and David signaled with a thumbs-up sign to show that he was ready with the song. Just then, Anil received a phone call and he left the table to attend to it, apparently from a guy he was doing business with. Shirley motioned David to come to the table.

"Long time eh?" she said softly. "I thought I would never get to see you again."

"Yeah, and look at you." he said. "You seem to have done really well for yourself."

"I guess so. What about you? Where have you been all these years? There is so much to catch up on."

"I'm just somehow managing to survive. This divorce has turned out to be pretty expensive for me."

"Oh. I'm sorry." 

"It's alright. I am getting used to it now."

"You never wrote back to me..........." 

"I couldn't. Life had gone all topsy turvy for me. There wasn't one good thing I could write to you about. And when the time came to get married, I could not break the news to you either."

"You too?" Both he hands were clasped on her mouth. "You could have said something that day at the lake."

"I was too scared. Just too scared of losing you. You didn't say anything either."

Both looked at each other, filled with thoughts of what might have been if.........if only!!!!!

Anil arrived back after finishing his call and arrived back at the table a mike in his hand. David was back on his piano playing a very familiar tune.

"Ladies and Gentlemen." Anil announced. "It's a very special day today for me. It has been exactly 3 years since I met this lovely lady sitting right in front of me for the first time, And haven't those 3 years been great. Right here, right now, I want to post a question to her, with all of you as witness. Dear Shirley, would you like to make the rest of my life as amazing as the last 3 years?" 

Anil was down on his knees. Shirley was thunderstruck with tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. Unable to speak she silently nodded yes and both of them hugged while the audience was thundering with applause.

David was quiet, he could just see his piano. He couldn't dare look at the centre of attention for fear of breaking down. He was just playing the song that had been requested by his boss to be played at that very moment, the words striking a chord with every human being present in the hall that night.

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you 

Later that night, as he was having his 4th beer in his cramped apartment he received a message on his cell phone.

"David , I know that things haven't really worked out the way we wanted them to. But I would like to give it another try. What do you say? Do you feel we can give our marriage another chance? -- Love, Clara."

He laid back on the sofa, his eyes closed. Maybe life wasn't so bad either, he thought and gulped down what would be his last drink for that day.

*************************************************************

You can view the original song sung by Brian Adams @http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGoWtY_h4xo

My Beloved

Hi folks,

This is not a new article, but in fact one of my early ones. It was with this write-up that I really kick-started into writing and till now it is the only one of mine which has been published (in our college magazine Srijan). Hope you like it.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!!!!!!
The alarm was ringing its head off in order to accomplish a task which many people had failed to do in their lifetime. The task was waking me up on a cold winter morning But today was different. Instead of its usual time (ie 7:30 am) the alarm was ringing an hour and half earlier. My droopy eyes struggled to open themselves, my body unwilling to leave the warmth of my rug. It was then that it suddenly struck me why I had set the alarm this early. Damn!! I had to get fresh and set off fast. The day was December 13. How could I forget that. It was her birthday and I had been planning to surprise
her early in the morning.

As I was brushing my teeth, my mind walked down the memory lane. I cant remember the first time I met her. Now this could be due to the "wonderful" memory God has gifted me with. Our early meetings still fresh in my mind, I remembered the joy I got walking hand in hand with her in the evenings at the park. Her soft hands and loving grip always made me feel important and wanted. The twinkle in her eyes when she looked at me, even now it makes me forget all my worries just to look into those beautiful eyes. The way she shed tears of happiness when I first told her how much I loved her and the way she hugged me after that.

Ouch!! So lost was I in these memories that the razor cut my cheek. This took me back in time again when I offered her rose on Valentine's day and the thorns tore into my skin in the attempt. Her soft kiss on my fingers was all it needed to vanish all the pain that I was experiencing. Oh!! What I wouldn't have done just to make her happy!!

All cleaned and bathed I opened up my wardrobe and confusion gripped me again as to what I should be wearing. Would I look good in the Tshirts I usually wore or would it be better if I had some formal attire on. In the end I chose a blue shirt she had gifted me last year on my birthday also because I wanted to see if she remembered it. So dressed up in black cotton pants and the blue shirt I looked at myself in the mirror. Yeah!! This was how I looked when she had said that I was the most handsome person she had ever seen and given me a peck on my cheek. The thought itself made my face go crimson.

As I descended down from my apartment I collected the bouquet of her favourite flowers I had ordered the previous day from the florist at the ground floor. The flowers smelled just like her. She had told me once that it was her dream to receive a bunch of flowers of every colour under the sun on an occasion. I took that as a hint and had specifically told the florist to include flowers of all possible colours he could catch hold of. And my good friend had done a tremendous job with it. Placing the bouquet carefully at the passenger seat, I started the car engine.

This reminded me of the first time I had taken her for a ride in the car just after I got my driving license. The terror and nervousness on her face still makes me laugh when I imagine it. Her sweating palms had continuously gripped me throughout the drive. The only time she opened her mouth was when I sped up a bit to overtake a bus in front of me. Her shrill scream rang in my ears for several minutes.

What made her special in my life was the fact that she was always there for me whenever I needed her. Whether be it good times or bad ones. And I always tried reciprocating her love. We shared so many secrets among ourselves. Our telepathic connection was such that many times we left people in a fix as to what we were signalling to each other.

With these thoughts in my head I pulled my car over to the building where she resided now happy in her own bitter sweet world. Taking extreme care so as not to disturb the flower arrangement, I climbed up the stairs that led to her flat on the first floor. Nervous and excited I rang the doorbell waiting for her to open. And as if to mock at my excitement she took her own time to open the door as though she expected me. But when she did open it, I could still see the same twinkling eyes and the smiling face of the woman I loved more than any other... she was my beloved mother!!!!

Dil, Dosti, etc - Part 3 (The Chat)

Viraj: Hey, u thr??

Poonam:  Hi,

 

Viraj:  You are a real liar, you know that!!!!

Poonam: What did I do now?

Viraj:  You never told me that you knew my friend Ashish.

Poonam: Well, you never asked me .. :P

Viraj: So what’s going on between you two ?

Poonam: Why are you so interested?

Viraj: He is a very gud friend of mine and you are one of the persons i’m closest to. So I deserve to know.

Poonam: We are just good friends, just like you and me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Viraj: If you are just good friends, then what’s your photo doing on his desktop wallpaper?

Poonam: How do I know, ask him na....

Viraj: You never sent me your photo, why him?

Poonam: Let’s just say that some questions are best left unanswered. And what’s with you today? Poking your nose in everybody’s business.

Viraj: Ohh...so now I’m poking my nose eh? Fine...lets stop talking then. Go to Hell!!!!!

Poonam: Hey, that’s unfair. How can you say that to me? You mean to say I cannot have friends other than you?

Viraj: I’m just saying that I want you to be truthful with me.

Poonam: That’s what I am doing. Seriously dude, he just a nice friend. Someone I like to talk to once in a while.

Viraj: Talk ?? So now you guys are having conversations eh? And you haven’t even met once.

Poonam: As if we have met anytime. Stop being such an ass.

Viraj: It may be “just friends” for you, but he is quite serious about you. So stop playing around.

Poonam: O God! I never meant that to happen.

Viraj: But it happened. And to tell you the truth he isn’t the only one.

Poonam: What do you mean ?

Viraj: Do I really need to say it aloud?

Poonam: Not aloud, just simple typing here would do.

Viraj: What do you think of me, Poonam?

Poonam: You are nice, sweet and a very good friend.

Viraj: What if I no longer wanted to remain “just a friend”? What if I wanted to move a step further?

Poonam: Viraj, what are you saying? Scroll up, see your own words. We haven’t even met and how could you say this ?

Viraj: I know it’s crazy, but what isn’t? I don’t feel good the day I don’t chat with you, every minute I think about you.....I mean, you make me feel complete. What else would I want?

Poonam: This is not happening. Do you really feel that way about me?

Viraj: I am being as truthful as I’ve ever been.

Poonam: This is the first time a guy has said such things to me, you know. It feels good.

Viraj: Just give me a chance, I can change your life for the better.

Poonam: I really don’t know what to say. On one hand you are being all so sweet that I cannot handle myself, on the other hand my mind is telling me to be cautious.

Viraj: Forget your mind. Just follow your heart. Go, where it tells you to go.

Poonam: I have never told you before, but I too feel somewhat same about you. But this is not right, you already have a girlfriend. What would she feel?

Viraj: Things aren’t moving anywhere with her. We are just turning out to be a bad couple after all. So she won’t be a problem.

Poonam: And what about Ashish? You said he is serious about me? Are you ready to put your friendship at stake?

Viraj: I’ll talk to him, convince him somehow that this is for the better. But then, when I’m ready to put my life at stake for you, what’s the big deal about a bit of friendship?

Poonam: You bastard, you have a real bad ass-spanking ready for you.

Viraj: Huh ? Why are you swearing suddenly now?

Poonam: Ohh, this is nothing. Just come into the next room. I’m gonna kill you. Ready to sacrifice your friends for a girl? Just come to my room NOW or I’m breaking into yours.

Viraj: Ashish???????????????????????????????????

Dil, Dosti, etc - Part 2

Though it is not strictly a sequel, you can check this post for the first part http://ashwinverleker.blogspot.com/2010/10/dil-dosti-etc.html.

Ashish was sitting with his legs folded on the bed, his nose almost buried inside the laptop screen. On the opposite side of the table Viraj was equally engrossed in his computer screen and Yogesh as usual was sprawled on the ground. The tiny hostel room was like any other. Messy. Clothes were lying all over the place and there were just a few spots where one could see the floor tiles. There was a half empty bottle of Coca-cola on the table and uncountable potato chips packets lying with all three of them. Viraj finished his chips and threw his packet on the ground, which landed right on Yogesh's face without any effort.

"Watch it you asshole. After all this is done, you are going to clean up my room, you messy son-of-a-bitch." Yogesh yelled.

"As if I have created all this mess inside your room. You dirty it for the entire year, and when I just happen to drop a packet then you yell your head off. If you want it to be clean, then move your big fat ass and do it yourself." Viraj replied.

Suddenly there was a loud thwack on the keyboard and Ashish clapped his hands over his face. 

"Guys, I think I've done it here!!!!" he said.

"Done what?" asked Yogesh, as he grabbed the Coke bottle and took a deep swig.

"Done, what we are here to do, dumbo. I think I've got the code to work at last. Come here guys. Time to put my brilliance to test."

All three of them gathered intently around Ashish's laptop. He opened the Linux console on his screen and typed some commands to compile and run the program he had just written. Everybody waited with bated breath as the program executed itself step by step. 

"C'mon, c'mon, don't betray me now." Ashish prayed.

Suddenly there was a shriek. Yogesh jumped at the sudden sound and promptly knocked Ashish's laptop from the table. Ashish caught it in time to prevent it from falling on the ground and put it back on the table.

"What the fuck was that ???" Yogesh exclaimed.

"Ohh, that's my new ringtone." said Viraj. "Ain't it cool?"

"Cool, my foot. You are screwed dude.... " said Yogesh and jumped at Viraj who deftly avoided him and ran outside the room to pick up the call.

"This bastard is not coming back till morning now as he must be talking to his new jaan-e-mann." said Ashish. "Damn you. You disconnected the internet cable in your histrionics. Now i'll have to start this thing all over again. Lost some weight Fatso, or else one day you won't know the difference between a cushion and your rear end."

"Well, that has its advantages. I don't need a cushion to sit on wherever I go." Yogesh winked.

Ashish connected the cables and started the program once again.

"Yippeeeee.....its working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he danced with glee.

"Could you please lower your volume ?" Viraj yelled from outside. "I can't hear what she is saying."

"Screw you, I don't give a shit whether you can hear her or not. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Ashish yelled.

"You just finish your conversation Romeo, your phone is not seeing the light of the day in the morning." said Yogesh.

"Pheww, now that was some brain-draining programming for the night. Let's see what this idiot has done."

Ashish moved over to Viraj's laptop and looked over it.

"Yogesh, tell me one thing. That nutcase is talking to his Anita darling right?" he asked.

"I guess so. Why, what happened?"

"Just come over here and have a look."

Yogesh went over. Both of them read for  a while and burst out in splits. Meanwhile Viraj re-entered the room and looking at them pondering on his laptop he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You bloody mother-" ..... he swore and snatched his laptop from them.

"Who's Poonam now? Quite an intimate chat you were having there. What will Anu darling say now?"

"You guys have no right to be spying on me like that. I don't think I need to answer that question. By the way, did your code work? Considering your yells I guess it did."

"Oh yes, it did. And don't you dare try to change the topic. I know you haven't done a single bit of your part of the project, so you better buck up and finish it off." Ashish said.

"Why are you guys all the time after me? I want to know how much Yogesh has done." He moved over to Yogesh's laptop and manage to have a fleeting glimpse before Yogesh lifted it from the ground. 

"No need for you to know." Yogesh said. "I will complete my part easily by the morning."

"Really ?? And is Savita Bhaabi helping you complete it with her advice?" Viraj mocked as Ashish clutched his stomach and laughed.

"She may not be helping as such in the code, but I can concentrate better."

"My, my." Viraj exclaimed. "It seems nobody is a saint here. And what are you up to on your screen?" he asked Ashish.

"If I am not mistaken, I am the only person here who has finished his work. So don't you dare look at me with suspicion."

"If that's the case I wanna look at your screen." Viraj stood up.

Ashish showed him the console on the screen which still displayed the output of his program. 

"Now close the console."

"Why should I?"

"B'coz I say so."

"I don't feel obliged to listen to every word you say."

"If you are such a saint as you make out to be, just close or minimize the console."

"Fuck you!!!"

"You may" Viraj winked. "But I just happened to see a girl's picture a few moments back. Care to tell us a name?"

"Poonam................."

World Cup Dhamaal

So here I am, back to the world of blogging after about a 2 month long hiatus. As you might expect from the title of this post, this is no fiction, just an observation and most probably one of my shorter posts.

The cricket world cup has started, and so has another mode of entertainment in India. No, I am not talking about the matches. This entertainment has everything to do with your knowledge of cricket but has nothing to do with actually playing the game. Some of you readers (are there any????) might have guessed this correctly. I am actually talking about the volley of cricket experts that suddenly emerge out of nowhere when such big occasions are round the corner. And currently the most popular way to show off your "knowledge" of the game is none other than our very own Facebook.

Everybody who is anybody is there on Facebook. But another observation of mine says that there are certain rules that would make You feel that you are the sole expert on the subject.

1) You must know the name of each and every player who's ever made it to the national squad. If you don't, then there's always dear 'ol Google to help you out before posting your expert advice.

2) All the knowledge and expertise is stored in your pot-bellies. That should explain why most of these experts are what they are.

3) It's not required that you have played this game at a national level (well, as a matter of fact, not even state or school level) to know which player to be taken into the team, which shot he should play, and how many runs he should score in a match.

Heyyyyy.....just 3 rules?????? In that case, every Indian worth his salt fits into the role. And that's exactly what I see. Mind you, I am not a cynic. I too am equally passionate about the game like any citizen of our country and want India to win. But some people do make me wonder, If Sachin Tendulkar happens to read even 0.001% of the advises he receives from the billion people all over the country, wouldn't it make his day??

Watch the matches, curse the players when they get out, dance when the team wins and then give your expert opinions on how the game has to be played. Dudeeeeesss....if you are so damn passionate about this game, open the door, go out of your house, take a bat and ball and feel the magic. For once, try playing the shot that you've always adviced Sachin or Viru to play. It would not only make you happier, but would also take some baggage of your bellies. Isn't cricket amazing??

Some people in my friend-list are passionate about the game to the point of craziness. One guy (I won't be revealing the names) has an obsessive compulsiveness that he has to put up a status advising the team composition, who holds the key to the match, how people have to play, etc, etc and then he has to "Like" it. "Like"ing your own post ? I may be wrong, but isn't that kinda dumb? I look at his photo and I really wonder if he has ever held a bat in his hand, let alone play the game. But hey, you just gotta look at Rule #3 to understand the sentiments.

Though I might have kinda mocked at the experts, I really find them highly entertaining, especially when the opinions are such that it really proves that you've never really entered the field. All in all, I also don't know what is the point of this post, but just felt like posting something.. ;). Just to end it, like any other fan of Indian cricket, I would like to wish our team the best of luck to bring the cup into our territory. GO INDIA GO!!!!!!!

The Conversation

Hi everybody, long time since I paid some attention to my first blog. Now that I am done with the love story blog (for those who want to read it, click here) I felt it's high time to resume what I like best, short fiction. So what's in store this time? It is a short script, fully conversation based (like those drama scripts) and I have just two characters here viz Ankit and Dr. Sunil. Dr. Sunil is a psychiatrist cum counsellor. Ankit is a 18 year old boy having his own personal problems and has been made to visit Dr. Sunil by his mother to help him cope up with them. The whole script is a session between the two in the doctor's office.

The original concept is by my brother Akshay and the story has been written by me. Hope you enjoy the proceedings, and hope I did justice to your idea bro.

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Dr. Sunil: So finally you are here, sitting right infront of me in my office. I hope you are comfortable.

Ankit: Yeah, big deal. Look, I'll make one thing straight. I have least interest in sitting here and talking any shit. I am here because my mother didn't leave me another option. So whatever it is, let us get done with it fast.

Dr. Sunil: Most of my patients feel that way during their first visit. It's quite natural. First of all, do you know why you are here?

Ankit: I don't give a damn what anybody has told you or what anybody thinks about me. It is my life and I am going to live it the way I want to. Nobody, including you can change that.

Dr. Sunil: Nobody wants to take your right to live the way you want. It is just that there have been certain incidents that have made your mother worry about you, and I would be helping you sort out your problems. Plain and simple.

Ankit: My problems eh? What the fuck do you know about any of my problems?

Dr. Sunil: No, I don't know anything. That's why I want you to tell me. Let us start with the year 2004, 6 years back when your parents got divorced. How did you, as a 12 year old accommodate such a situation?

Ankit: You had to bring that up, didn't you? Everybody does. Everybody just expects that a child would keep mum when his parents are just short of strangling each other, that I would be fast asleep in my room while they yelled and cursed each other the whole night. That I could be calm and composed while they just fought over me in front of everybody in that courtroom. I am just a piece of chocolate right, come just fight over me to see who gets it.

Dr. Sunil: Your history says that about five months after the bitter divorce, you were apparently arrested with possession of cocaine.

Ankit: Why apparently? Yes, I had the dope with me. So did a couple of my friends. But they were let off. Why? Because of their rich dads. And me, I wasn’t even left with a person whom I could call my father. You don’t know what it is like to have a father yet not meet him.

Dr. Sunil: No I don’t. But I do know what it is not to see your father at all. Mine died before I was even born. But we can leave that part aside for now. What I am more interested in is what made you go after drugs?

Ankit: Nothing made me. I started it by choice. What else was I supposed to do? The dope was the only thing which kept me sane during that phase.

Dr. Sunil: So do you regret that? The dope I mean.

Ankit: Regret? Hell no, but I do regret calling those bastards my friends, real cowards without any balls.

Dr. Sunil: Nobody can help you when there is no regret inside you for what you have done. But after that short stint in juvenile prison, your record has been clean and that is something to be happy about. But it seems recently your behaviour has changed a lot. Your mother says that you have been very withdrawn and secretive about your whereabouts and what you do. What do you have to say on that?

Ankit: Oh man. That lady doesn’t stop. What the hell is wrong in wanting a bit of privacy? She wants to know everything damn thing. Can’t I have a bit of life of my own?

Dr. Sunil: There is nothing wrong in wanting some privacy. The thing that worries her is you being out for entire nights without her knowing where you have been. As a parent, I can tell you, that can get very worrying. You have the right to go wherever you want, now that you are an adult. But it is still your duty to let your mother know.

Ankit: She would just freak out as usual and come up with some lame excuse just to make me stay. You ever had any problems at home doctor?

Dr. Sunil: (Slightly taken aback at the sudden shift) In fact I do. Why do you ask?

Ankit: So how do you go about solving it? Visit another psychiatrist?

Dr. Sunil: If you think that any psychiatrist can help mend a troubled marital relationship, then please do recommend, I won’t mind seeing him. But this isn’t supposed to be about my problems.

Ankit: See? You are yourself running away from your problems and all the while trying to solve mine. How can I trust your judgement in that case?

Dr. Sunil: Alright. So what do you suggest?

Ankit: I suggest that let this be a two way communication. You come out with your problems first, and then I tell you mine.

Dr. Sunil: Seems fair enough. Only thing is that you are too young to understand this issue.

Ankit: Try me. I may be more help than you think.

Dr. Sunil: Well, I have been married for about seven years now, have a beautiful three year-old daughter from that marriage. Life was perfect till about a year ago. My professional commitments gave me less time to spend with my family. Things had begun changing.

Ankit: So how did your wife react to this situation?

Dr. Sunil: Initially she kept quiet. Then slowly her frustration began turning into anger and yeah, we had some serious fights. But then, the fights just turned into total silence. Now we stay under the same roof, but are like total strangers. There is hardly any conversation, so much that even a passing greeting has become a rarity. I may have been a heck of a good doctor, but when it comes to domestic matters, I suck. You see, once you are settled professionally, the money and the fame ceases to matter. I want my life back as it was. That’s my side of the deal. Now it’s your turn.

Ankit: That’s quite a story doc. So now you want to know about my side? It’s way much simpler than yours. All those nights that I am out, I have been seeing somebody. That’s not a crime, is it?

Dr. Sunil: That depends on who that somebody is. I guess this somebody is a female.

Ankit: Yes, it is a female. And I love her, I can do anything for her. You know, all these years I thought God had cursed my life, showered me with all the pain and suffering that he could come up with. But then, when I met her, I realised that it wasn’t the presence of pain that made me suffer, it was the absence of love.

Dr. Sunil: Are we talking of real love or just casual sex?

Ankit: We are talking of both actually. It is real love from my side, but I am not too sure about hers. Sometimes I have a feeling she is doing it only for the sex. But you know what? I don’t care. With her, I can be myself. She makes me feel complete.

Dr. Sunil: If you love her so much, why have you kept your mother in the dark about it?

Ankit: She would never understand. She would just try to keep me as far as possible from her. And I cannot risk that. For once in my life, I have found someone who would love me for what I am.

Dr. Sunil: Ankit, your mother loves you very much. Every mother does. Why do you feel she won’t understand? It’s perfectly natural for a boy of your age to fall in love.

Ankit: I don’t think it’s normal for a 18 year old to fall for a married woman.

(Pause)

Dr. Sunil: Now that’s something we’ve got there.

Ankit: See? You don’t understand it too.

Dr. Sunil: I understand what it is to fall in love. I too had fallen in love with the lady I married the first time I saw her. But in my case, she was perfectly single. So is there a reason why she spends so much time with you in spite of having a husband?

Ankit: I don’t know, and neither do I ask her. Why bring unnecessary controversies when you are actually feeling good?

Dr. Sunil: That is not what you can call unnecessary controversy. It might be okay for you to spend time with her, but it is a serious issue that someone who’s married is spending her nights with an 18 year-old.

Ankit: They say love can make you do crazy stuff. Maybe this is just one of them.

Dr. Sunil: Yes, love does make one go crazy. But what’s going on, it is not love, I can assure you that. To me it seems that just the way you want to be loved and cared for, she also might be having a need for some male attention. Human beings want that.

Ankit: Yeah right. So now you want me to stop seeing her. Why the fuck can’t anybody stand seeing me happy.

Dr. Sunil: I am not at all implying that. I want you to talk to her. Find out what her problems are. Considering the amount of time you have spent with her, she might even tell you.

Ankit: That would be the end of our relationship doc.

Dr. Sunil: You know what, if there is any real love between you two, it won’t be. But if all this was just satisfying one’s physical needs, it’d better stop. The sooner you know, the better.

Ankit: (Choking) I really am confused. I do want her in my life. And I also know that the society in general would not allow it. But I will talk to her as you said. Maybe it’s time for things to be made clear.

Dr. Sunil: It’s never too late to try. I have realised it myself. The people closest to us are the ones we tend to take for granted. In my case, it has been my wife and in your case it has been your mother.

Ankit: I guess so. But could you do me a favour please? Don’t let my mother know of this affair. If I am to continue this relationship, I would tell her myself. But if not, then she’d better be in the dark. You docs keep these sessions confidential right?

Dr. Sunil: Yes, we do. Whatever you’ve told me is only between you and me. So you don’t need to worry about that. And I also would like to request a favour from you.

Ankit: And that would be?

Dr. Sunil: Could you please tell Anita that her husband still loves her and wants her back in his life badly?