Tuesday, May 25, 2010

That Bloody Block

If I am not mistaken, this would be the smallest gap I have kept between consecutive posts. I had planned to update this blog in 2-3 more days, but just yesterday, I had such an amazing experience that I could not help but write about it. If you are expecting anything serious, then please relax your mind. This post would be one of my lighter ones and not based on any life changing experiences, but it was amazing enough to get a mention here.

"Ok, bubbyeee and thanx for calling..... " were my last words as I disconnected the phone. A simple and straightforward conversation with a friend, but it was quite stressful. The reason ?? The speaker of my mobile phone had been faulty and the volume of the other person's voice was quite diminished. I literally had to strain my ears in order to catch a few words that he said, and then use my guesswork to guess what he had actually said. Due to that some of my replies were quite wayward and out of context. I'd better get this phone repaired. But wait! Which fool in today's world repairs a mobile phone? With the prices of such electronic goods falling everyday, it would be a much more sensible option just to discard the old one and get a brand new cell. So it was decided, the first thing I would be buying from my salary would be a sleek mobile phone for myself.
Before the phone call came in, I had just returned home from and early morning swim. Just about a month and half left for me to join the corporate world, I thought this is the only time I would get to work on my physical fitness. My dog, Pixie, was lying down under the table as usual, too busy relaxing to get up and greet me. The only way to make her rise would be to open the kitchen larder and shake up the container which had her biscuits. That sound could make her rise even from a coma. But then, another sound, a street dog barking outside caught her attention and she ran out into the balcony to give that dog a piece of her mind. Pixie's bark had lost the intensity that it had a few years back. Maybe it was time we learned to accept the fact that she was in fact getting old.
I inserted my index finger into my left ear, trying to remove that little bit of water inside that was blocking my ear. That was one thing about swimming I hated. This water just stuck inside your ears and refused to come out. But now it was a life threatening mission for me. It was me against those few droplets inside my ear. An engineer against some molecules of H2O. So I brought my weapon, that powerful cotton bud. Slowly and carefully I inserted the bud into the ear canal, careful not to push it hard, just hoping that it would absorb the water out. But all was in vain. The block only seemed to get worse. Next, I pinched my nose, closed my mouth, and blew hard. This was a technique I used when I get those pressure blocks in my ear when the flight takes off or lands. It may have worked for a huge sophisticated airplane, but not for those godforsaken water drops. Now it was slowly becoming frustrating for me. My reputation was at stake. What's the use of having a Bachelor of Technology degree from one of the premiere institutes of the country when I was not able to remove just some measly droplets from my ear. I was increasingly becoming worried when the landline phone rang.
I picked it up and viola! It was the savior calling. Mommy the great!!!!
I might have been proud to be the son of two doctors, but when those two doctors were in US, I was totally lost where medical stuff was concerned. I described my ailment to her in full detail, narrating the history as they say it.
"My dear son." mother dear said. "I can't treat you from here on the phone. Plus I am a gynecologist, so your problem is right at the opposite end of my specialisation." Typical Mom. Here, her poor lonely son is in a traumatic condition, and all she is worried about is the "end" of her specialisation.
"In that case, my dear mother" I replied. "Please guide me on what I am supposed to do. Or at least suggest a doctor to whom I should consult."
"It may be due to the blockage of your eustacian canal with mucus. That's the most common cause. Try steam inhalations and gargling with warm water and see if it works. If it gets painful, then go to Dr. R.L Naik, he is and ENT specialist." Doctors!!! They have to say everything in one breath all the time.
I tried steam inhalations, I tried gargling. But that bloody block refused to budge. Afterall it wasn't mucus that was blocking it. It were just some !@#$**** water droplets. After repeated attempts throughout the day, at about 5 in the evening, I at last decided to get the ear checked. After all, it could be that ear infection that I once had in my childhood, and it was really painful.

I went to Dr. Naik's clinic and introduced myself. He made me sit on a chair and took out some wierd headband kind of a thing which had a bulb on top and some kind of lens. It reminded me of the GI Joes that I used to play with. It required him just one look to diagnose the cause behind my helplessness.
"Stay calm, and don't move. Just breath deeply." He told me as he inserted a forceps inside my ear. After somewhat fishing around inside, he removed the forceps, and with it came a nice big ball of earwax.
"What the ..... " I caught myself in time from completing the sentence.
"Did you by any chance put cotton buds inside ?" he asked me.
"Yes I did." I told him. "Just an attempt to drain out the water inside."
"First of all remember that the water never remains inside your ears for long. With that cotton plug, you pushed the wax even further inside. Now it may be a bit painful as it is stuck to your skin tissues, so just breathe deeply." He said, and in went the forceps again.
After some slightly uncomfortable moments, the block was cleared. My ear felt awesome. I looked down at the dirty mass that was kept on cotton swabs. Wow. I never knew the ear canal had so much volume to hold that shit.
He then checked my right ear and the mining inside gave another voluminous amount of wax. After both the ears were cleared, he gave a prescription for some ear drops to be used thrice daily, for 15 days, 2 drops each time. I thanked him and left the clinic.
Both my ears felt so clear, I could hear even the softest breeze blowing. I jumped when I started the ignition of my bike. Woah...that was loud.
As I rode back home, the whole world seemed to have put on amplifiers. The car horns were honking extra loud, I never knew that the indicator of the bike could beep so loudly. The music playing at the music shop seemed much more melodious. I sang quietly to myself. Hey!! I was loving the sound of my own voice.
After several minutes, I entered my home only to find Pixie in the balcony again cross with some ignorant dog who had strayed into her "territory". One thing was sure. This dog's bark was still as powerful as it was 4-5 years back. My mobile phone rang, and suddenly I had to hold it a few centimeters away from my ear, the person at the other end was literally screaming.

So all in all, the moral of the story is, if at any point in you life, you feel that the world has suddenly become peaceful, people have become soft-spoken, then without second thoughts take the earliest possible appointment with your ENT doctor. The inferno in the world is going nowhere. But now its time for me to put those two drops into my ears, so bye for now.

Adios till the next one... :)


  1. Aga Puta don't u know d diff betn an & and? Ones an article n the other's a conjunction...now make d necessary corrections.

  2. good one, liked it !
    And after reading this I think I should get my ears checked !

  3. These are all my symptoms! I can never hear properly, for the last 2 years I've been only guessing what people speak, especially those with softer tones!

    I need to go to the ENT right away!

    Nice post!